“Your art is too feminine”

A few years ago, I was nominated for an Artist Award in the University. It involved presenting and discussing your art to a group of artists who will be judging everyone’s work.

I remember one of the judges’ comment on my paintings, “Pagkakita ko sa gawa mo, alam ko na agad na babae ang gumawa,” (The first time I saw your work I already knew it was a woman who made it) in a tone that made me feel small. He added, “Yung gawa ng magagaling na artists, hindi mo agad malalaman kung babae o lalaki ang gumawa.” (The work of great artists — it’s difficult to tell whether a man or woman made it.)

I used soft and pastel colors for my art then and it seemed he was hinting I should have used darker and more masculine colors for the theme of my paintings.

At that time, I felt compelled to create art that wasn’t too feminine because of that one comment. I felt as though I’ve made a huge mistake and I sucked as an artist. I tried to stray away from feminine color palettes, however I couldn’t help but be drawn to softer tones, even to this day.

A few days ago, I suddenly remembered that moment and I was enraged. Why does it matter if a woman or a man made a piece of art? Why should that be the first thing that comes to mind when looking at a piece of art? I created this collage to express these feelings and questions.

I’m not sure where I am going with this but one thing I could say is I’m learning to embrace my femininity and my instinct. Our work resonate with other people because of the authenticity, openness, rawness, and vulnerability that we show in and through our art.